A Thank You to the DU Family

On Valentine's Day, an unwelcome bandit visited our home, taking away our beloved daughter, Angel. On the day when hearts pop up like dandelions spreading  joy, ours was stolen. Even though none of you other than fellow band member Sean Daley had ever met Angel, and only a few of you have known me more than a year,  you didn't have to be told how to lead with your hearts, you just needed the opportunity. While I was immobilized by grief, Sean took the reins and started a Go Fund Me. Each donation was a powerful healing gift. Not only have you helped meet our financial needs, You provided smiles through the tears. Each long hug and wiped eyes has been a vital element in helping me to bear the load of grief.

Using the term family to describe this community we are building runs the risk of being cliche, but I assure you that it is no exaggeration in this moment. I have both longed to be with you and hated the thought of being at Fitzy with you all where acknowledging the pain is unavoidable. To the person, you have known to avoid the platitudes, sharing the words that there are no words. In case you had any doubts, you are helping me to carry this incredible weight.

Angel lived with cognitive and verbal limitations, but she did not need words to spread acceptance and joy. When you

were with her, you knew where you stood, and if you showed her respect, returning the acceptance she offered, you were sucked into her gravitational force of joy. Her superpower was leading with an exceptionally large heart.

Angel loved rowdy crowds. She would have been rocking and rolling in the Zoo if she had ever been able to come. She also loved music and while we were smiling through our tears when the Valentine Band showed up at the funeral, she would have joined with the spontaneous dancing that happened at the service. No words were necessary.

When I reached out to the club asking for a favor to personalize a Bandit kit with her name and age, there was no hesitation, only empathy and hugs. A serendipitous error happened with the number. I had requested 45, but it came back with 43. This became an opportunity to find meaning. With some digging around, I found a video of Mr. Rogers (I like to call him Saint Fred of the Neighborhood) singing “There are Many Ways to Say ‘I Love You’” which included what he called the 143 way: 1 for I, 4 for love, 3 for you. So when you are in 119 looking down at the band and see “Angel 43” banging a drum, know that I am saying to you all, not only thank you, but also love you!